A heavy heart

My heart is so heavy.  I started hearing about a tragedy in Connecticut on Friday as I was driving to help fellow Test Pilot School spouses set up for the graduation ceremony later that evening.  I had gathered from what I heard on the radio that it probably had something to do with a shooting.  I remember thinking that it was odd that none of the announcers said anything about why their hearts and prayers were with the families in Connecticut.  As I got to the event site and began setting up, I learned about the school children and teachers who were shot  in that elementary school.  Tears welled in my eyes as I learned about the deaths of these poor children, and the teachers who died trying to save these innocent lives.  How could this happen?

My heart is just breaking for the parents and families of those children.  No more kisses to be had, no hugs or snuggles be received, no more innocent tears to be wiped away by the loving hands of mommy and daddy.  How these parents' hands must be aching to caress the soft cheeks of their children just one last time....to just be able to tell them one last time how much Mommy and Daddy love them.  To tell their sons and daughters what a gift they are, what joy they are.  How much their arms must ache to hold their children one last time, to breathe in the sweet scent of childhood.  So much hope and promise in the young eyes of their sons and daughters.  Now, all lost... greedily stolen by the insanity and evil of one person.  I cannot even begin to fathom what these families were going through on that fateful Friday and the heartache that they continue to bear now and in the coming days, weeks and months.  For those parents, how could they stop their tears from flowing; their hearts from breaking; their lips from calling out for their child; their eyes from searching for their child in a crowd . . . and their souls from wanting to be with their deceased child? How?

Even as I write this, I struggle to understand how a monster, let alone a person, could walk into a school and harm these children.  How does the work of evil just weave itself into the mind of one person, capable of not merely just killing these children and teachers, but with the capacity to bring the heart of an entire nation into plummet?

I do not usually include religion in my blog.  But I really do feel the need in this particular post.  I believe in God.  I believe that His son will come again.  I believe that the souls of these children and the teachers who died protecting their students will be welcomed into heaven and that God will wrap His love and grace around them.  I, do not, however, believe that God needed another angel or that this was God's will to have these children and teachers die in such a violent manner.  This is the work of pure evil.  I hope that God will see that justice be served.  I hope that in the coming days, the light of Jesus will lead us out of the darkness as we mourn the loss of these children and teachers.